drop it LOW

W.O.W.


seriously pathetic, how long it's been since i last blogged anything. a LOT has been going on. jim being home now is like he never left. crazy, how that is. we've been doing a TON of remodeling which has been extremely stressful and overwhelming. i was without a kitchen for a super long time and had to blend my shakes in my bedroom vanity area and wash dishes in my bathroom sink. SO glad we are past that now. i will never take for granted a working kitchen ever again!


zumba has continued to be my passion and my escape. i am so grateful i found my beloved friend, michaela. honestly, if it had been any other instructor, i am not sure i would have gravitated to it as much as i have. she was there for me, bringin' the sweat and the smiles during the most difficult time in jim's deployment and i am forever grateful to her...for her talents, positive nature and friendship. i never thought an instructor at the gym would turn into one of my best friends, but she has. i've also made other friends which i can easily say will be lifelong ones.


i've been stuck around 130+ pounds, which has been highly abnormal and annoying for me. even with all my exercise, something wasn't working. i finally splurged on a heart rate monitor and discovered what i was *actually* burning. you see, when i'd work out, i'd assume i was burning 800+ calories per hour, and so i would eat my calories. the garmin on my wrist told me otherwise. i felt defeated...even thought it was broken?! haha... nope. i had to face the fact that i am on the smaller side and just don't burn that many calories when i exercise. in reality, i burn 350-400 per hour. my turn-around was the combination of: zumba, shakeology, heart rate monitor & myfitnesspal.com. myfitnesspal has been an excellent resource for tracking my weight, calories, water, etc. BAM. the weight began to come off. i am pleased to say i have lost about ten pounds, which is exactly what i wanted. 


remember my BEFORE photos? 

here i am now, at 121 pounds:

                    

i still have a bit of side roll going on, but i am going to faithfully continue what i've been doing because - it works!! and if you want to join me at zumba sometime, let me know - i'd love that!

like, woah.

sooo....yeah.

it's been wayyy too long. although i've continued to zumba like crazy....and even did a few personal training sessions....my soldier came home and it totally put my eating habits into whack. i blame it all on him!! how's that, for accountability?  *teehee*

i've been starting to weight train with one of my zumba friends before zumba class. i think that has helped. jim and i are using the gym as "date night" from time to time. that helps. still....i need to be drinking way more water than i do. AND, the biggie....my sweet tooth. it rules me. i am powerless over it. problem is, i need to set myself up for success not failure. i buy the bag of twizzlers when i'm craving it, then wonder why the bag is completely gone by the end of the night.

knowing i have such poor willpower, i know i can't be bringing goodies home because i can - and WILL - eat them. not only will i eat them, i will munch munch munch 'til they're all gone. it's pathetic really...but it's reality.

here are my new goals:

• drink at least 80 oz. cold water, daily
• have at least one Shakeology, daily
• Zumba at least three times per week (easy to do!)
• do at least 20 minutes of weights, 4 days out of the week, especially before a workout
• don't buy sweets to bring home. period.
• if i want a treat during a movie, it can be a stick of Extra dessert gum
• abs before bed, like i used to
• when i have the munchies: raw almonds, apple slices, carrot stick

i could very well be pregnant right now, and i always start my pregnancies off in great shape with a ripped stomach. i've had four kids and i'm pushing 34, so that may not happen this time...but i definitely need to get to a better place than where i am now. in my adult life, i have always kept my weight around 120 lbs, without even trying. ever since i turned 30 and had my 4th baby, my weight has crept closer to 130 lbs and that's WITH effort. it sucks, but it's the new reality. i think if i can get my sweet tooth under control, my body and my health would be amazing!

here we go!! had a Shakeology for breakfast,  followed by Ab Ripper X (yowza!!!) and half an hour of Zumba...with more Zumba tonight at the gym. yay!

the holly daze

i fully admit i've been really struggling lately!! it's christmastime, i'm missing my husband, and feeling snackier (and flabbier) than ever. rather than motivating me, the flab is depressing and then i eat another slice of pumpkin cream cheese bread. what the dealio?!!

i want to look amazinggg for my husband when he returns from this year-long deployment...but it's just not happening. it was easier in the summertime when there were still several months to go. i was wrapped up in  a routine....running almost daily either inside at the gym or outside in the warm, beautiful sunshine. i miss my feet hittin' the pavement, chemical brothers blasting in my ears. *sigh*

then i picked up zumba and that has been SO fun. but if i am flabby now, after ALL this exercise....i hate to think of what shape i'd be in if i'd done nothing this year to keep fit. it's been very frustrating, and a hard pill to swallow, entering my thirties and realizing my super crazy high metabolism DIED on me, and for the first time ever...i actually had to work at it.

so...i'm currently in a rut. and how do you get OUT of a rut when you completely lack motivation?? i was talking to my friend and zumba instructor the other day about "faking it 'til you make it." i guess this means i need to commit and do it whether i feel like it or not. and that is HARD. do ya feel me??

i struggle with this is many areas of my life. it's easier said than done. it takes a LOT to get out of bed when that's the last thing you want to do. it takes so much strength to walk into that room of strangers and start mingling when you're dying inside. but you fake it 'til you make it. or, as i like to say...FEEL THE FEAR, AND DO IT ANYWAY!!!

today, for example...i'm feeling sad and lonely. i'm feeling flabby and unmotivated. i'm feeling cold and tired. so, where am i going to find the power inside me to overcome all this and exercise?? just gotta make the choice and DO IT. and i've found that choices become easier when you've made the decision long before decision-making time arrives. therefore....i CHOOSE to have some sort of exercise today for a minimum of thirty minutes. there. i've committed.

and you are all my witnesses.  *hugs*

Wasted Week

Well....it happened. I came down with something...and missed a whole lotta workin' out. VERY upsetting. When I lose my groove, I tend to get way off the beaten path and end up back in the thick of bad habits. Plus, it was my oldest daughter's birthday and there was cake, pizza, deviled eggs, BBQ weenies...you name it, it was YUMMY.

And then comes the regret. It's not like I could have worked out with all the headaches and dizziness I was feeling. BUT...I didn't need to indulge in the goodies so much. Once again, I am reminded that I have ZERO willpower when it comes to that which tantalizes the tastebuds. *kicking myself*

It's Sunday night and I am feeling quite well. Ready, to take on the coming week!! I have BIG plans, people. BIG PLANS!!! I am going to follow the advice of a fellow 90-Day-Challengee and actually put my goals for this week up on the calendar so I can SEE them, and thus, ACCOMPLISH them. My calendar will keep me on track and make me accountable!

So tomorrow, I'm beginning my third attempt at a Shakeology cleanse (why wasn't the first cleanse this difficult??). Gotta power through. Gotta rev things back up. I lost my energy and enthusiasm while I was feeling ill. Gonna fake it 'til I make it!!

Signature Salad

Today rocked!! I did 45 minutes of Zumba at home, an hour of Zumba in class, then came home and did an hour of P90X. Holy Jello arms, Batman!!

Foodwise....Cinnamon Pecan Special K for breakfast, chocolate Shakeology for lunch, and my signature salad for dinner!! I totally heart this salad!! I make it all the time. So, I'm gonna share the goods!!

Ellen's Signature Salad

two handfuls of baby spinach
1/2 a large yellow pepper, diced - or a few sweet mini peppers, diced
1/3 cucumber, peeled & diced
handful of carrot slivers
2 Tbsp. craisins
handful of grape tomatoes, cut in half
2 slices of red onion, quartered
2 slices of deli turkey, shredded (I use the pepper turkey from Winco)
a sprinkle of feta cheese
1 Tbsp. Brianne's New American dressing

BAM!!  Ultimate salad goodness.  :o)

ZUMBA and the Muffin Top

I love muffins. I do *not* like muffin tops. And I have one!! For the first time in my life, I have the infamous muffin top....that lovely blob of skin and fat that poofs out over the top of one's jeans. To give me some motivation for this 90 Day Challenge, I put on my jeans from LAST YEAR, and took a couple pictures that will serve as my "before" photos. When I looked at them on my camera, I think I threw up in my mouth a little. As you can see, I am pretty much thin everywhere but my mid-section. Not cool. I used to have a six-pack. It's under there...somewhere....  I am cringing right now, because I am about to make these photos public. But really, why should I? Not everyone has a perfect body and most people do struggle. I actually look pretty decent, after having four children. Still, this is not my personal best and I intend to make some serious changes. Besides, I think posting these ugly belly shots will just motivate me even further.

I have NEVER looked like this. I didn't even look like this after having my fourth baby!! This is SAD, people!! It was only after I stopped breastfeeding Jackson (in March 2010) that the muffin top began to appear. Horror of horrors!! 

I tell ya....I turned 30, had my fourth baby...and it all went downhill from there. I used to be able to eat an entire pizza - all by myself!! I'm not saying that was the healthiest thing to do (although it sure was yummy), but - I was able to do it and it never altered my appearance. Now, at age 33, I actually have to work at it. "Work." Ugh...

And then, this year, ZUMBA came into my life. I'd heard about it before, on television, but never thought much about it. I mean, it looked fun...sure. But I never had a desire to buy the product. Earlier this year, I found out my friend from Church was a Zumba instructor. I wanted to get to know her better, support her as an instructor, and - let's face it - get some exercise. Oh. My. Goodness. Zumba was sooo fun!!! I thought, "Zumba, my LOVE - where have you been?!!"  I was instantly hooked. It got even worse when I found out the gym I have a lifetime membership to (24 Hour Fitness) had Zumba classes. Turns out, my friend from Church knew the Zumba instructor from the gym. So, I went to her class. Michaela kicked my butt and I enjoyed every second of it. In fact, one hour was not enough. The great music, the fun routines, the enthusiastic instructor...all made the hour fly by. I thought, "This can't be right! I am basically dancing, having SO much fun, it doesn't feel like exercise, and yet my workout clothes are sweatier than they get when I run a 5k!!"  SOLD.

The great and powerful Michaela introduced me to Shakeology and I love it. I did a Shakeology cleanse shortly before my soldier hubby came home for R&R and lost - *drumroll* - SIX pounds!!! It's a good thing, too...because we went to California for two weeks and ate our weight in awesome food. Shakeology has been really nice to have. I can choose to do a three day cleanse, whenever I want. Otherwise, I substitute one meal each day for a shake. 

I know what I need to do. I need to drink lots of water each day. I need to get a good night's sleep, every night. I need to inject Shakeology and Zumba into my days because they truly are like shots of happy energy. Finally, I need to keep my house free of candy, processed foods, etc....because if it's here, I WILL eat it. I fully admit, when it comes to yummy goodness, I have no willpower. Knowing this, I just need to take the steps to keep myself from failing.

This blog is getting long. I'm glad I started it though. Even if no one reads it, this is a great journal for me to keep track of my thoughts and goals and how I am progressing. And if you ARE reading this...hop on board!! Every day is a new day. Each new day can be a fresh, new start. Yeee-HAW!!!

Motivation: This was me, 6 weeks pregnant with baby #4.
THIS is what I want to get back to.

So much for "Day One!"

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry...


To satisfy the requirements of this 90 Day Challenge, I secured a sitter and headed to Zumba tonight. I never made it.


I'd just put fuel in the van and was on my way for a mere two minutes when I saw two cars ahead, stopped on both sides of the road. I figured they had been in some kind of accident with one another....after all, it was a *dark and stormy night* and things were pretty chaotic on the roads. As I approached their vehicles, I saw IT (just as I ran over it) - a tire, in the middle of the road. It made a horrendous sound as it scraped the under carriage of my van. I swerved into a ditch and there I remained for the next two and half hours.


I didn't want to go outside, partly because of the freezing downpour and partly because I was afraid of what I'd find after that awful sound I heard. I called AAA, updated my membership and a tow truck was on the way. Then I called the police, because I learned that no one had done that yet. I got out and talked to the guys involved. Apparently (the guy on the other side of the road), his tire flew off as he was driving and the other guy, coming in the opposite direction, ran into it. Cue Ellen, cluelessly driving down the road...completely unaware that she was about to hit that same tire...


The po po eventually showed up. We huddled under my umbrella as they took my information. I kept thinking...."THIS TOTALLY BITES!!" It was kinda fun to prattle on with the po po, though. I told them all about Jim and asked them questions about police work. The cops told me to cancel my tow truck because they had one of their own coming. The female officer assured me it would be "on them." Well...it wasn't.


Finally, two and half wet & freezing hours and $200 later, I was driving home. I was extremely frustrated on how my night ended up. But mostly, relieved. Why wallow in it? It happened. It's over. It could've been much worse. No one was hurt, my vehicle is fine...and hopefully insurance will get my $200 back, ASAP!!


I'm pleased that I ate healthy today, and did a bit of Zumba on the Playstation 3 with my daughters this afternoon. That's something. And something is always better than nothing. Tomorrow is another day!